For $15, You Can Troll the Liberals

s-l1600I thought this was a joke: an announcement that Team Trump raised $200K in a single weekend, selling packages of 10 laser-engraved plastic drinking straws (shown here). But…, no joke; deliberately destroying the environment is a thing now, as it irritates decent people.

As reported here, the debate over plastic straws in the U.S. really kicked off in 2015 when a group of marine biologists taped themselves handling a sea turtle with a straw deeply embedded in its nostril and blocking its airway. More than 2 million people watched the researchers remove the straw as the helpless animal bled and squirmed with pain. Reacting to the outrage, a number of corporations enacted policies aimed at reducing their use of plastic straws. Progressive politicians, locally in the U.S. and nationally in Canada, moved towards passing laws restricting “single use” plastics like straws.  Straws can be reused and recycled, but the rate at which plastic food implements are reused is almost exactly zero.  The recycle rate is 4.4%, and most recycling facilities don’t accept them, even in the unlikely event that they get that far.

We live in a day in which efforts to prevent suffering of innocent animals are detested and ridiculed by cruel morons, now a hearty swath of the U.S. electorate; thus the success of this endeavor.

Given that my career centers around marketing, my mind naturally goes in the direction of driving sales revenues with ideas that focus on the unmet needs of the customer. To that end, let me suggest the “Fly Buster.” The customer receives a package of live house flies, a pair of tweezers to remove their wings, and a magnifying glass to focus the sun’s rays, so as they roast, with all due leisure, the now helpless thorax.

The wanton torture of helpless animals will drive the libtards positively insane. And $15? Hell no. At a price point of $49.99, you won’t be able to keep them in stock.

 

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One comment on “For $15, You Can Troll the Liberals
  1. marcopolo says:

    Craig,

    For a person who has spent a successful career in marketing, you seem to have forgotten all your skills.

    The result of parsimonious sermons, finger-wagging and politically correct sanctimonious outrage, will always be resented by those lectured.

    This sort of advocacy is pointless, irritating and counter-productive. Attempting to change behavior by making people feel guilty for not being in accordance with the views of a smug little group of self-appointed moralists, is divisive and ineffective.

    Did I say Ineffective? Well, that’s certainly true if the aim is to achieve the stated purpose.

    So why do you,and many others of your ‘fellow travelers’, pursue this sort of advocacy?

    The answer is simple! Certain people delight in belonging to small elites of conformist puritans. They are the self appointed “morally pure”. They not only obey social moral conventions, but also invent ‘social morality’ from a fear of insecurity.

    The smaller the group, the more evident it is to the members that group they must be “pure”.

    Marine and aquatic refuse is a very real problem. For centuries oceans. rivers and lakes have been used as conduits for human and even natural rubbish, some only mildly polluting, other disastrous. The problem has grown dramatically in recent years as third word populations increase and industrialize.

    Stopping the production and use of plastic straws(especially highly bio-degradable, recyclable and BPA free products, such as those sold by Team Trump) will not produce any dramatic reduction of marine pollution, nor will it affect in any significant way the safety of marine life.

    But then, it’s not meant to is it? Your outrage is really about sanctimony and “punishing” those who don’t share your politics or lifestyle.

    That’s the folly of a certain type of faux environmentalist advocate. After a while, the general public begin to suspect hypocrisy and the message not only becomes lost, but resented.

    In the meantime you, and your fellow travelers have caused serious damage to so many genuine environmental causes.